25 Political Beliefs You Can Express With A Custom Button

December 9‚ 2021

Darn tootin'

If people can express their political beliefs with bumper stickers, then it only serves to reason that they could do the same thing with some clever custom button designs, yes?

One of the reasons you're not supposed to talk about politics with other people is because it could break out into a massive argument, but hey, as long as it's on your bumper, who cares right? It's like YouTube or Reddit comments. You guys think you're going to get away with it, but I assure you they're going to track you down.

Ahem. Anyway, when it comes right down to it, you could express whatever political stance you wanted. Buttons do make it a little more personal though; fair warning. Let's get on with this list.

1. Don't Tread On Me.

Gotta protect those freedoms and rights, man.

2. Abortion Is Murder.

I hear Bush's speeches murder brain cells, even to this day. That's just as scary as abortion.

3. Liberalism Is A Mental Disorder.

Hahaha! This one just gives me a good laugh.

Some of the accompanying pictures make it all the more laughable. I'll leave it to your imagination.

4. If At First You Don't Succeed, Run For Political Office.

This is sound advice. I'm definitely going to look into it if this content marketing thing doesn't pan out.

5. Think. It's Not Illegal Yet.

Scientifically speaking (also according to Napoleon Hill), thoughts can be measured as vibrations. Or so I've heard. Let's just be thankful that authorities are not using our private thoughts against us at this point. Half the world would be in jail (or maybe all the world).

6. 56% Of Voters Are Not Smarter Than A 5th Grader.

It all depends on how you define smarter. If we're just talking memorization of facts, Jeopardy contestants are probably smarter than 56% of voters too.

7. I Didn't Actually Call You Stupid. I Called You A Democrat.

We all know it's the same thing anyway. Stupid Democrats! I'm just kidding.

8. Al Gore Invented The Internet And Global Warming!

An oldie but a goodie. What will Al Gore come up with next? It'll be one to watch. Probably Jimmy Hoffa.

9. Resist Socialism. Defend Liberty.

You know, sometimes you can't help but feel like the Cold War is still going on (long after Rocky defeated Drago). Only this time, it's not really an external force. Who woulda thunk it?

I don't really mind if we get more entertaining boxing movies out of it.

10. You Can't Fix Stupid.

"Stupid is as stupid does", as Forrest Gump and his mom always used to say. He seemed to do okay for himself. What? He was a fictional character? Nonsense. He's an American treasure.

11. Gas Was $1.65 When George Bush Left Office.

We also haven't heard great quotes like this one since he left office: "So I analyzed that and decided I didn't want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression." Priceless.

12. Wake Up And Smell The Tyranny.

Since when did they start putting on a pot of tyranny in the morning? I sure hope they don't start doing that at my office. Knowing my coworkers, they probably will. I better start buying my own coffee before I show up at my desk. Well, it's made to look like coffee anyway.

13. Clinton Ruined A Dress. Obama Ruined A Nation.

Trust me when I say that there are a lot of anti-Obama slogans out there. I could have used a lot more on this list than I chose to, though some of the previous catchphrases are subtle allusions to him too.

This one just makes Clinton sound like the man.

14. I'm Republican Because We Can't All Be On Welfare!

It's only a good deal if we can all be on illicit drugs. Oh wait, that's a different party.

15. Re-Elect No One.

Unless it's John F. Kennedy.

16. Next Time, Think Before You Vote.

No drinking and voting please. It could be hazardous to your health and wellbeing.

17. I'd Rather Be A Conservative Nut Job Than A Liberal With No Nuts And No Job.

We're contractually obligated to have a few references that our friends up north will also grasp. Now if only we could remember what's up north...? Isn't the Arctic Ocean up there? Ah, seamen. That's what's up there. We salute you!

18. Political Correctness Will Be The Death Of America.

Funny because it's true. Who wants to be politically correct, anyway?

19. I Miss Ronald Reagan.

Don't we all?

20. I Don't Need Sex. The Government Screws Me Everyday.

There's nothing quite like getting drilled by the government.

21. Feminism: The Radical Notion That Women Are People.

Hey, don't look at me like that. I don't write this stuff.

If you agreed to the political correctness comment earlier, you don't get to retaliate on this point.

22. Unions Suck!

Jobs blow!

Oh, sorry. I thought we were just saying stuff.

23. I Don't Approve Of Political Jokes. I've Seen Too Many Of Them Get Elected.

If I had a nickel for every time...

24. The American Dream Is Not A Handout.

It's not? Oh damn. Then what were those forms I filled out last week? I guess I better get back to work. I better make a call to Charlie too. I'm not sure what I signed away this time.